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Joke of the Day:

Why can't blondes be cattle ranchers?

 

They can't keep their calves together!

 

Patient: "Doctor, you've got to help me, some mornings I wake up and think I'm Donald Duck, other mornings I think I'm Mickey Mouse."

 

Doctor: "Hmmmmmmm, and how long have you been having these disney spells?"

Two men are approaching each other on a sidewalk. Both are dragging their right foot as they walk.

 

As they meet, one man looks at the other knowingly, points to his foot and says, "Vietnam, 1969."

 

The other points his thumb behind him and says, "Dog doo, 20 feet back."

A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter.

Mother: "What does the cow say?"

Child: "Moo!"

 

Mother: "Great! What does the cat say?"

Child: "Meow."

 

Mother: "And what does the pig say?"

Child: "Oink, Oink."

 

Mother: "Oh, you're so smart! What does the frog say?"

And this wide-eyed little 3 year-old looked up at her mother and in Her deepest voice replied, "Bud-wei-ser"