Wise Men Said

If we ever followed these words of wisdom, life would be so much easier.

But, hey, what do these people know anyway.

School Days from my Algebra Teacher


Lazarus Long

If your grades aren't becoming to you then you should be coming to me.


If you were caught looking at the clock... Time will pass, will you?

I know the sound of two hands clapping, but what is the sound of one hand clapping?

All men are created unequal.


Anything free is worth what you pay for it.


Men rarely (if ever) manage to dream up a god superior to themselves. Most gods have the manners and morals of a spoiled child.


Anyone who cannot cope with mathematics is not fully human. At best he is a tolerable subhuman who has learned to wear shoes, bathe, and not make messes in the house.


The greatest productive force is human selfishness.


Do not handicap your children by making their lives easy.


Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.


One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.


What a man was 2000 years ago means nothing at all to me today.


Beware of altruism. It is based on self-deception, the root of all evil.

Mark Twain

Faith is believing what you know ain't so.


Never let school interfere with an education.


If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a man and a dog.


A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.

Ben Franklin

Guests are like fish. After three days they begin to smell.


A lie stands on one leg, the truth on two.


He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.


A house is not a home unless it contains food and fire for the mind as well as the body.


Don't spit into the wind.


Don't eat yellow snow.


Treat the earth well: it was not given to you by your parents, it was loaned to you by your children.


If you are constantly looking back, chances are pretty good you'll fall into a hole ahead.


There are two types of fools: Those who trust everyone and those who trust no one.


Beware of the most dangerous person in business -- the articulate incompetent.


The world is divided into people who get things done, and people who get the credit.


Anyone in business who burns his bridges better be a damned good swimmer.


If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.


A closed mouth fathers no foot.


Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.


A winner never quits, and a quitter never wins.


There's an old saying among basketball coaches: It's not about the Xs and Os, it's about the Jimmys and Joes


At the age of 20, we don't care what the world thinks of us; at 30, we worry about what it is thinking of us; at 40, we discover that it wasn't thinking of us at all.

Albert Einstein

I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.


Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.


The important thing is not to stop questioning.


We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.

Soren Kierkegaard

Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.

W. C. Fields

I never vote for anyone. I always vote against.

Fred Allen

There is a town so dull up here the tide went out one day and never came back in.


Life is uphill -- don't pull down the load.

Mario Andretti

If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.

Bill Austin

There are no problems, only opportunities.


Everything changes, everything stays the same.

Eric Hoffer

The fear of becoming a 'has-been' keeps some people from becoming anything.

Soren Kierkegaard

Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.

Arthur Koestler

If the creator had a purpose in equipping us with a neck, he surely meant us tostick it out.

Yogi Berra

It ain't over till it's over.


You can observe a lot just by watchin'.


You got to be very careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.

Robert Frost

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a woods, and I

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference



An idea is a feat of association.

H.L. Mencken

Do not overestimate the decency of the human race.

Winston Churchill

A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

Jack Kinder

High achievement always takes place in the framework of high expectation

Robert Oppenheimer

The optimist thinks this is the best of all possible worlds. The pessimist fears it is true.

Charles Schwab

The man who trims himself to suit everybody will soon whittle himself away.


Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.

George Schultz

The minute you start talking about what you're going to do if you lose, you have lost.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.


You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late.


Some books leave us free and some books make us free.


It is a rough road that leads to the heights of greatness.

Abraham Lincoln

There's no honorable way to kill, no gentle way to destroy. There is nothing good in war. Except its ending.

Ross Perot

Measure twice ... cut once

Victor Borge

 The shortest distance between two people is a smile.

Thomas Edison

Nearly every man who develops and idea, works it up to a point where it looks impossible, and then gets discouraged. That's not the place to become discouraged.


Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls, and looks like work.


Never did anything by accident, nor did any of my inventions come by accident; they came by work.

Vince Lombardi

Practice does not make perfect. Only perfect practice makes perfect.


It's easy to have faith in yourself and have discipline when you're a winner, when you're number one. What you got to have is faith and discipline when you're not a winner.

Julia Child

I just hate health food.

Anna Freud

I was always looking outside myself for strength and confidence, but it comes from within. It is there all the time.

E. F. Schumacher

Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius – and a lot of courage – to move in the opposite direction.

Frank Lloyd Wright

The truth is more important than the facts.

Richard Whately

He is only exempt from failures who makes no effort.

A. G. Buckham

Monotony is the awful reward of the careful.

Albert Camus

You cannot create experience. You must undergo it.

Sandra Day O'Connor

I don't know that there are any shortcuts to doing a good job.

Pearl Buck

The secret of joy in work is contained in one word: excellence. To know how to do something well is to enjoy it.

Gore Vidal

A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.

Watterson Lowe

Years wrinkle the face, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul.

Changing Times magazine

An optimist is a driver who thinks that empty space at the curb won't have a hydrant beside it.

Carlos Castenada

Any path is only a path, and there is no affront, to oneself or to others, in dropping it if that is what your heart tells you.


We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same.

Alistair Cooke

A professional is someone who can do his best work when he doesn't feel like it.

Bill Cosby

I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody

John B. Shereen

Happiness is not in our circumstances, but in ourselves.

Groucho Marx

 Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore. I realized it was killing conversation. When you're always trying for a topper you aren't really listening. It ruins communication.

Janis Joplin

Now that I'm here, where am I?

Jacques Chardonnes

The finest amusements are the most pointless ones.

Erich Fromm

Everyone who got where he is had to begin where he was.

John Lubbock

A day of worry is more exhausting than a day of work.

John Wooden

Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.

David Letterman

The worst tempered people I have ever met were those who knew that they were wrong.

Charles H. Spurgeon

Humility is to make a right estimate of oneself.

Eleanor Roosevelt

The only man who never makes mistakes is the man who never does anything.

Douglas Adams

The biggest problem encountered while trying to design a system that was completely foolproof, was, that people tended to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.

Danny Kaye

Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint on it you can.